Prayer

Prayer has been something that I have been trying to figure out since high school.  "Why do we pray?" I remember asking my youth pastor while studying Know Why You Believe.  Yes, Jesus prayed.  So we should follow his example.  Yes, Paul encourages us to pray "on all occasions."  Somehow, though, these answers and several others weren't enough for me.

I still wondered why we should pray when God already knows everything.

As a result, my prayer life has gone in cycles.  Very disciplined at times, I've made lists of people to pray for, which in high school turned into 5 pages long.  Thus, I ended up having a separate list for each day of the week.  Later, trying to move out of my legalistic ways, I decided to pray "as the Spirit led."  Well, this quickly turned into praying very rarely--evidently, I was not tuned into when the Spirit was leading.  Other times, I made shower times my prayer times, or bed time, or when I first woke up. 

Always in search of what prayer should look like and be, I am always eager to hear other people's opinions or to learn something new.

Today, then, when it was time for Day 4, Week 3: "The Obstacle [to living a victorious life in Christ] of Failure to Pray" in Beth Moore's Breaking Free study, I knew that it could be a big deal.

In her commentary she pointed to a familiar scripture: Philippians 4:4-7. 

"Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." 

I thought to myself, that's it!  An answer I've been looking for for nearly 15 years--right in front of my face!  What joy!

Why pray?  One solid reason: so we know God's peace.

For some reason, I find this answer more sustaining, more satisfactory, than anything I've heard or learned before.

And I continue to be pleasantly surprised at how God knows these little things about me--my doubts, my fears, my confusion--and how he surreptitiously meets these needs through Bible studies or church services or an encouraging word from another.

Which leaves me feeling thankful.  And humbled.  And excited.

Standard Driving Lesson #2

After two minutes in the driver's seat, I had to ask my sister Christina how to turn off the seat warmer. We were still in the cul-de-sac on my street, and the only points of instruction she had given me thus far were to iterate the importance of stepping on the clutch to shift from gear to gear. I sat there practicing shifting--without actually going anywhere--just to get the feel of the gears. And I was already starting to sweat.

You have to understand. I may have been sitting on a rarely-driven-down side street, but I had an entire audience in my mother's living room. I found out later that my brother-in-law was betting I'd stall out on the first attempt to drive forward, while my mother was betting I'd do one better: take the car for a vertical leap in the air. Given the free entertainment I innocently provided my mother and my brother during my Standard Driving Lesson #1 eight years ago when we were test-driving a manual Contour, I have not, until recently, been motivated to attempt the task again. That time, after each stall, after each jerky movement (of which there were many of both), the backseat erupted into fits of laughter that made it twice as hard to concentrate. Finally, my ever-patient Dad, who had been attempting to instruct me from the passenger seat, offered to take over. This sad story has become part of family lore.

However, with new motivation to learn this skill, I have decided to attempt once again to learn how to drive a manual car. I have already sent proposals to my local friends whom I think would be at least mildly amused and amenable to teaching me this valuable skill. Unfortunately, these particular friends have not yet officially responded; fortunately, my unassuming life group buddies have offered to teach me. And my sweet sister who was not present during Lesson #1 agreed to give it a go today.

So, Standard Driving Lesson #2 transpired at approximatley 3:15-3:45 P.M. I am glad to report that with the patient tutelage of my older sister, and without the nonsupportive backseat drivers more interested in a show than my success, I didn't stall the vehicle once. I jumped a little bit--not too often--and ended up having to roll down the windows as I stuck out my tongue in nervous concentration, but we made it home in one piece. Next time, perhaps I will work up to traveling more than 1/4 mile on a semi-busy roadway and getting to Gear 4.