People like to ask where I am now and what I'm doing. I certainly can't blame them because I have often (and still do) the same to others. Like college students. And high school seniors. And retirees. Poor people.
They're great questions if you know the answers to them. If you don't, I'm finding, at least for me, answering them requires lots of patience. Or maybe it's humility. I should just say, "I don't know," but I often chicken out and try to prettify my answer by relying on my "facility of language" to make the long explanation of options and choices and dilemmas concise enough to fit into a one-sentence answer.
And believe me, I can create some very long sentences especially when I have fifty things to say and I really want to give you a complete picture of the ins and outs of my thinking because I really don't want you to think I'm a lazy person who has no motivation at all even though some days I feel like that and to prove it let me tell you I've applied here and there or recently found out information about this thing and that thing and, oh, yes, doesn't that sound great? and how on top of that I'm struggling with relationships and figuring out what normal is again and--oh, wait! I'm not finished yet but you have to run so I understand and yeah, we'll catch up again another time. Hope you have a great day!
Whew. That process has been agonizingly painful. Almost every time.
It came to me this past weekend that the best answer for now is that I'm in Limbo La-La Land. I'm limbo-ing between two states and between two vastly different paradigms of life while contemplating another in the name of figuring out what's best for me at this moment. There is some definition on the horizon, but it's amazing how nebulous it appears from different daily vantage points.
The not-too-funny ironic thing is, I fear I may be the one blurring something God sees as purely straightforward by residing in Limbo La-La Land.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Hmmmm...
Returned home from being out of state and found something very curious on the dinner table:
Bag Balm.
It's in this really cute square tin decked out in holiday colors, though upon closer look it's the green of clovers and the deep pink of clover flowers.
I'll be honest. I wasn't sure what Bag Balm is supposed to be for. I have heard there are several parts of the body that may be referred to as bags, and any of these parts--accurately referred to as such or only in slang--didn't deem this kind of thing something to be out on a table. Upon closer look, though, I realized it is truly intended for the delicate utters of dairy cows.
Last time I checked, we didn't have any dairy cows milling around out back.
Why on the table? Evidently it doubles as moisturizer for human hands. Hence why it is on our dining table, a catch-all for dinner plates and anything else that needs a temporary storage place, like Bag Balm.
Bag Balm.
It's in this really cute square tin decked out in holiday colors, though upon closer look it's the green of clovers and the deep pink of clover flowers.
I'll be honest. I wasn't sure what Bag Balm is supposed to be for. I have heard there are several parts of the body that may be referred to as bags, and any of these parts--accurately referred to as such or only in slang--didn't deem this kind of thing something to be out on a table. Upon closer look, though, I realized it is truly intended for the delicate utters of dairy cows.
Last time I checked, we didn't have any dairy cows milling around out back.
Why on the table? Evidently it doubles as moisturizer for human hands. Hence why it is on our dining table, a catch-all for dinner plates and anything else that needs a temporary storage place, like Bag Balm.
Sunday, February 05, 2012
Zumba with Jorge
Jorge is a middle-aged latino man who wears glasses. He wore bright orange exercise pants and used the key word "vamos" to move us from exercise to exercise. He does lead a mean routine. And I loved it!
One of his tricks, I think, is to avoid stopping between songs. He's got the music lined up so that the transitions between songs are barely long enough to grab a sip of water. Cardio is huge, but he intermixes it with a few strength moves and songs to slow down the heart rate after making it race. Additionally, he's got rhythm.
The best part was that Jorge incorporated truly traditional Latin steps--many of the same ones I saw in Guatemala during public dance displays. In Guatemala, the dancers were often in costume. Whether they dressed as a monster or a cartoon character, the costumes are top notch, and the group is practiced. They dance like the music is their pulse, their feet barely moving the ground as they maintain the rapid rhythm. The result is that is looks incredibly smooth and intoxicating, full of energy that seems like it can hardly be maintained or contained.
Having a chance to try out some of these steps was an absolute blast. Intertwined with the occasional jumping bursts of energy, zumba like this is well worth my time.
And yes, I was a little sore the next day.
One of his tricks, I think, is to avoid stopping between songs. He's got the music lined up so that the transitions between songs are barely long enough to grab a sip of water. Cardio is huge, but he intermixes it with a few strength moves and songs to slow down the heart rate after making it race. Additionally, he's got rhythm.
The best part was that Jorge incorporated truly traditional Latin steps--many of the same ones I saw in Guatemala during public dance displays. In Guatemala, the dancers were often in costume. Whether they dressed as a monster or a cartoon character, the costumes are top notch, and the group is practiced. They dance like the music is their pulse, their feet barely moving the ground as they maintain the rapid rhythm. The result is that is looks incredibly smooth and intoxicating, full of energy that seems like it can hardly be maintained or contained.
Having a chance to try out some of these steps was an absolute blast. Intertwined with the occasional jumping bursts of energy, zumba like this is well worth my time.
And yes, I was a little sore the next day.
Thursday, February 02, 2012
Meal #2: Breakfast is Served
Menu: Wholegrain Pancakes (p. 240), coffee, grapefruit
I had a hankering for potato pancakes on a Saturday. Leftover brown rice encouraged me to use this recipe from Clean Food that would incorporate the brown rice with sweet potato as its base. The pancake mix ends up being pretty chunky with the rice grains and shredded potato. I liked that you bake them instead of putting them on a griddle--the only trick for me was keeping the pancakes together when I flipped them and scooped them off. While putting maple syrup on them seemed a little unexpected--the food seems saltier than sweet--I preferred that to an applesauce topping. Mom and I gave it the thumbs up, and the leftovers became a tasty, quick breakfast for a couple of days.
I had a hankering for potato pancakes on a Saturday. Leftover brown rice encouraged me to use this recipe from Clean Food that would incorporate the brown rice with sweet potato as its base. The pancake mix ends up being pretty chunky with the rice grains and shredded potato. I liked that you bake them instead of putting them on a griddle--the only trick for me was keeping the pancakes together when I flipped them and scooped them off. While putting maple syrup on them seemed a little unexpected--the food seems saltier than sweet--I preferred that to an applesauce topping. Mom and I gave it the thumbs up, and the leftovers became a tasty, quick breakfast for a couple of days.
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
ACT: The Remake
When one of my former colleagues asked me to assist with an ACT prep session, I figured that the best way to become familiar with the ACT again was to, well, take it. The practice one, anyways. At least the sections I was responsible for presenting.
I found that, as a high school English teacher, my ACT English score was pretty fantastic. I'm sure it would have been absolutely perfect if I hadn't been watching TV at the same time as taking the test.
And as a person who hasn't had any math since the first year of college, my ACT Mathematics score left a little to be desired. (Really, who expects us to remember the quadratic formula and how to solve equations with matrices?)
I find myself often reflecting on our system of doing things, and it sometimes annoys me both how much I am a product of our system and how much it influences my thinking. So much so that acing the English part and not acing the Math part even now, as an adult, still gives me an alternative feeling of superiority followed by shame (and then a little pride that even so, it wasn't that low). And I take a step back from the picture and...ridiculous.
Maybe, then, that's the advice I ought to take for myself and leave with the kids at some point during the session: the ACT may be your ticket to college and scholarships, but don't rely on it to define who you are.
[There it is, that intangible catch phrase--who you are. I'm not sure which is better: the clearly defined path where you just go and do the next thing and it's there--high school, ACT/SAT, college, job--or this nebulous concept of doing those things to succeed in society but paradoxically superseding them to become who you are in spite of them.]
I found that, as a high school English teacher, my ACT English score was pretty fantastic. I'm sure it would have been absolutely perfect if I hadn't been watching TV at the same time as taking the test.
And as a person who hasn't had any math since the first year of college, my ACT Mathematics score left a little to be desired. (Really, who expects us to remember the quadratic formula and how to solve equations with matrices?)
I find myself often reflecting on our system of doing things, and it sometimes annoys me both how much I am a product of our system and how much it influences my thinking. So much so that acing the English part and not acing the Math part even now, as an adult, still gives me an alternative feeling of superiority followed by shame (and then a little pride that even so, it wasn't that low). And I take a step back from the picture and...ridiculous.
Maybe, then, that's the advice I ought to take for myself and leave with the kids at some point during the session: the ACT may be your ticket to college and scholarships, but don't rely on it to define who you are.
[There it is, that intangible catch phrase--who you are. I'm not sure which is better: the clearly defined path where you just go and do the next thing and it's there--high school, ACT/SAT, college, job--or this nebulous concept of doing those things to succeed in society but paradoxically superseding them to become who you are in spite of them.]
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